the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...
A tragic event has happened to my family this week. Wednesday morning, my Grandma Flo was walking across the street down town in Carmi, and hit by a semi truck. She instantly went to Heaven. There was no pain, there was no suffering, there was only peace for her in that instant when she went where the good Lord took her - to be with Grandpa Kenny.
There is no time to prepare for a tragedy such as this. You are never really ready to let someone you love go - but in this type of circumstance, the floor is just swept out from under you. You never think this will happen to you, and you just can't seem to get a complete grasp on the entire situation. I thought I had so much more time with her.
She was one of the strongest women I ever knew. My entire life, I think I only saw her sick once. I remember it was quite odd that Grandma went to take a nap on one of our Sunday afternoon visits. I had just never seen that before. Sure, Grandpa and Dad napped every Sunday - and made it a competition to see who could catch the other napping first- but not Grandma. She said she just didn't feel great. I guess not - she had such a big gallstone, that it erupted her gallbladder and was admitted into the hospital.
She was never really sick, she didn't take medications, and she kept on going when others thought she should slow down. She mowed her own huge yard at the age of 81. She continued to have a glorious garden that she reaped the benefits of its bounty through canning the goods, as well as just having fresh fruits and vegetables daily at her table. She sewed for others, as well as for herself. She made the most beautiful quilts. Every formal dress I have ever had, she has made alterations to them. Every prom, homecoming, and bridesmaid dress was made perfect for me by Grandma. I wish she would be here to do the same for my wedding dress.
Every person has fond memories of their grandmother's cooking - and I am no different. You could be sure that every time we visited there would be Oatmeal Raisin Cookies in the brown cookie jar, and Tang in the refrigerator. If Davy was home, there would be Blarney's in the white Tupperware box. Every year at my birthday, she made me a big bag of beef or deer jerky. I always jumped for joy and dug right into that treat. She taught me how to make that jerky, and now Dexter frequently requests me to make it. She also taught me how to make home made donuts. I remember quite a few times getting to help drop them and glaze them, but we took an entire day together and I learned the process from start to finish. What a fun day with a fantastic treat at the end. I treasure that day and memory.
Even though this is an extremely difficult time, I find comfort in a few things. I know that my grandmother loved me and was proud of my life. She let me know that she was proud that I became a teacher, got a house, and did what I set out to do in life. And when I decided to marry a farm boy, she smiled at me and said - it's a great life. Just this last week someone told me that in life the many good times will outweigh the bad and make them disappear. I feel as though that is what will eventually happen here. It may take a long time, but soon enough my family and I will only remember the good times, and let this feeling of sorrow pass. Spending time in Grandma's house this week, I took the time to look at everything hanging on her wall. I have seen it all many times, but this week it stood out to me that on two different walls of her house is the Serenity Prayer. What a wonderful thing for Grandma to leave to give me some peace during this difficult time. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. I cannot change what happened to her. As much as I wish I could. - Trusting that God will make all things right if I surrender to His will. That I may be happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. I know she had a great life, and was happy - but more importantly, I know she is supremely happy now in Heaven with the good Lord, and with Grandpa Kenny. I'm just so happy they are together again. I can almost hear both of their very distinctive laughs. I know they are very happy today.
There is no time to prepare for a tragedy such as this. You are never really ready to let someone you love go - but in this type of circumstance, the floor is just swept out from under you. You never think this will happen to you, and you just can't seem to get a complete grasp on the entire situation. I thought I had so much more time with her.
She was one of the strongest women I ever knew. My entire life, I think I only saw her sick once. I remember it was quite odd that Grandma went to take a nap on one of our Sunday afternoon visits. I had just never seen that before. Sure, Grandpa and Dad napped every Sunday - and made it a competition to see who could catch the other napping first- but not Grandma. She said she just didn't feel great. I guess not - she had such a big gallstone, that it erupted her gallbladder and was admitted into the hospital.
She was never really sick, she didn't take medications, and she kept on going when others thought she should slow down. She mowed her own huge yard at the age of 81. She continued to have a glorious garden that she reaped the benefits of its bounty through canning the goods, as well as just having fresh fruits and vegetables daily at her table. She sewed for others, as well as for herself. She made the most beautiful quilts. Every formal dress I have ever had, she has made alterations to them. Every prom, homecoming, and bridesmaid dress was made perfect for me by Grandma. I wish she would be here to do the same for my wedding dress.
Every person has fond memories of their grandmother's cooking - and I am no different. You could be sure that every time we visited there would be Oatmeal Raisin Cookies in the brown cookie jar, and Tang in the refrigerator. If Davy was home, there would be Blarney's in the white Tupperware box. Every year at my birthday, she made me a big bag of beef or deer jerky. I always jumped for joy and dug right into that treat. She taught me how to make that jerky, and now Dexter frequently requests me to make it. She also taught me how to make home made donuts. I remember quite a few times getting to help drop them and glaze them, but we took an entire day together and I learned the process from start to finish. What a fun day with a fantastic treat at the end. I treasure that day and memory.
Even though this is an extremely difficult time, I find comfort in a few things. I know that my grandmother loved me and was proud of my life. She let me know that she was proud that I became a teacher, got a house, and did what I set out to do in life. And when I decided to marry a farm boy, she smiled at me and said - it's a great life. Just this last week someone told me that in life the many good times will outweigh the bad and make them disappear. I feel as though that is what will eventually happen here. It may take a long time, but soon enough my family and I will only remember the good times, and let this feeling of sorrow pass. Spending time in Grandma's house this week, I took the time to look at everything hanging on her wall. I have seen it all many times, but this week it stood out to me that on two different walls of her house is the Serenity Prayer. What a wonderful thing for Grandma to leave to give me some peace during this difficult time. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. I cannot change what happened to her. As much as I wish I could. - Trusting that God will make all things right if I surrender to His will. That I may be happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. I know she had a great life, and was happy - but more importantly, I know she is supremely happy now in Heaven with the good Lord, and with Grandpa Kenny. I'm just so happy they are together again. I can almost hear both of their very distinctive laughs. I know they are very happy today.
Thank you baby! This is so wonderful! Grandma would love it!
ReplyDeleteI saw what happened by following on facebook and I've been praying for your entire family. Such an awful tragedy, but you have written such a beautiful tribute to your Grandma and she would love this. What a blessing you are.
ReplyDeletei love this and my sissy
ReplyDelete